After hours.. after I leave..
And that’s sacrilege.
It really is..
It is a deep insult and wound against life itself.. against time..
Makes me want to cry..
I just want to win. I can’t stand losing..
(against the task)
Yes..I could give a fuck less about the competition between me and whomever..
But I care about the task.
And I feel so defeated when I lose ..
Feel useless..
Without value..
And then I hate myself for letting this bullshit get to me..
God damn.
Kill me.. 🥴
Just kill me..
