Stings.
I had a dream about people from the past, leaving when i was so heavily invested.
It hurt like it did then.
And it tore my guts out and it made me travel through it all over again.
Then I woke up to now,
And i didn’t care, and as i regained consciousness the hurt just went away. Because I’m on this side of the wall..
I fucking hate those crazy real dreams.
And in one i wrote to one girl because the other cut me, and I called around and reached out to anyone.
So you wouldn’t have to be so alone…
And then i woke up, and was acclimated .
Heh.
I hoped i never put that pain on other people but I knew that I had.
ANd it’s a special one.
Being invested like that.
And putting so much stock into one person.
And that’s where you fuck up…
A smart person..wouldn’t do that…
So you’re allowed to love someone, but a moron ends up needing someone.
And you end up being the tortured..
And they’ll always get their way..
Gah,,barf,,,puke it up and get the fuck outta here..
If I can’t be smart I can at least be cold.
I hate that i felt so deep.
I hate myself for it.
And Romeo died by poison and that’s a silly,silly reason to die..
Which makes the story very silly.
People are wired to need each other. But it’s fucked up…fucked up in a subtle way..
You have to be “OK” by yourself.
Otherwise you’ll need.
And the whole thing has no gravity unless there’s a degree of attachment..
Delicate.
Impossible to know the correct math..
And I’m glad i don’t hurt like that anymore and I 100% don’t want to put that on anyone..
You’d have to be heartless..
And I as I wake up,,,
Shit man,,,
I’m glad that I’m not saddled to a torturing..
Lolol..
Fucking glad….
That was a nightmare.
I can say the words, but you have no way of truly understanding…
Just like how I have no way of understanding your nightmares..
Shit man…
For real…
Thank god…or the stars or whatever fuckin wood you like to knock on…
Geez,,,
It gives me a boost of life, a zest, a zeal…
Thank god I’m not in that spot anymore,, whew
dusk 