When the relationship imploded,I didn’t bring it into work.
I just kept showing up and putting it out of my mind, because I thought that was what strong people did.
And in hindsight..
God what a drain.
What an absolute emotional drain she inflicted.
And I should have known better, because I knew her for so long..
She bit into me and sucked out anything of value.
And in hindsight, I have the power to see..
“thank God”
Thank God I didn’t end up trapped in that, for life..
She could have fed off me for decades.
On the other side, being romantic seems really stupid..
It seems like you’ve changed and you know it, so any closeness you engage in.. Going forward…
It’s not right .
So you only do damage to others..
People that didn’t deserve it..
And that heartbeat is still dead. That magic that made you care so much and made you ready to carry all the fucking pain there ever was…
It’s hard to remember..
To remember what made you feel like that…
(a foolishness)
Yes..
But a divinely human foolishness…
(the spirit that crumbled empires)
A spirit chasing it’s own tail throughout history…
Love is a silly word.
(and dangerous)
Yeah 😔.
dusk 